Tees Maar Khan reviews! 1.8/5 so far

While we await the major ones from India, the film has released in the UK, UAE and USA and some reviews are coming in.
searchindia.com  (no rating) "Even by the lowly standards of Akshay Kumar's recent films like Action Replayy, Tees Maar Khan is bad."
upodcasting.com (no rating) "It’s what Housefulll wishes it was, what Action Replayy could never accomplish and what Golmaal lies in bed at night crying it could be one day."
Renuka Rao dnaindia.com 1.5/5 Tees Maar Khan is a classic example of a cluttered film in which a hodgepodge of characters incoherently jabbers ludicrous dialogues building up an odd plot that just refuses to make any sense at any point of time.
Nikhat Kazmi TOI 2.5/5 But eventually, fun needs a foundation too and spoofs need some substance to carry them through. TMK has colour, humour, pace but nothing does seem to fall in place in terms of plot and character connect.
Zahra Khan, Associated Post USA 1.5/5  Tees Maar Khan is a classic example of a disordered film in which a sputtering incoherent jumble of characters absurd dialogues build a strange plot that just refuses to make any sense at any point in time.
Rachel Salz, NYT unrated “Om Shanti Om,” a huge box office success, was Bollywood at its most pleasurable. “Tees Maar Khan” is Bollywood going through the motions.
moviereviews.ae unrated Other Akshay Kumar movies have been blasted in the past, but this one will take the cake for being the most unlikeable of the lot!
Mihir Fadnavis 0.5/5 ‘Tees Maar Khan’ is brutally unfunny, horrendously contrived and wholly annoying.
Pankaj Sabnani (Glamsham) 2.5/5 The film isn't exactly unbearable, but falls way short of expectations. 
Kunal Guha, Yahoo 1.5/5  The dialogues are lame and lack wit, punch, drama and everything else one expects from filmy dialogues.
Taran Adarsh bollywoodhungama.com  3/5  If only its content was powerful enough, it would've truly been a tees maar entertainer! 
Gaurav Malani Economic Times 2.5/5 Tees Maar Khan doesn’t even guarantee thirty good laughs in its three hour runtime.
Aseem Chhabra rediff.com 1.5/5 TMK, scripted by Khan's husband?Shirish Kunder, is like that tasteless, dull chewing gum that you feel like throwing away as soon as you take the first bite.
Anupama Chopra ndtv.com 2/5 Tees Maar Khan.. is disappointingly limp and insistently low IQ. The film has little of the effervescence and flair of a typical Farah Khan film.
Sukanya Verma Rediff 2/5 Sheila ki Jawaani ...But that's not going to wipe the disappointment off genuine admirers of Farah's quirky creativity, including yours truly.
Raja Sen Rediff 2/5 And even as our arms do obediently rise for Tees Maar Khan, they do so more to facepalm in whatmighthavebeen exasperation rather than applaud boisterously, as they did with her earlier films.
Sukanya Venkatraghavan Filmfare UNRATED Tees Maar Khan directed by Farah Khan (How could you!) is just a relentless assault on your senses.
Vinod Mirani indiantelevision.com  UNRATED In fact, Tees Maar Khan loses steam about 15 minutes into the film after the song Sheela ki jawani and becomes intolerable post-interval.
Khalid Mohamed PFC 1.5/5 Throughout you’re shocked by the higgledy-piggledy screenplay and the blood-curdlingly loud direction.
Mayank Shekhar HT 1/5 It’s one thing to repeatedly make ‘nudge nudge wink wink’ sort of ironic nod to films or ‘filmies’. It’s quite another to know nothing else. 
Rajeev Masand CNN IBN 2/5 it’s surprising she delivered not the trademark Farah Khan entertainer one expected from her, but a typical harebrained Akshay Kumar comedy instead.