With Chulbul Pandey soon to grace our silver screens, I was just wondering how our Bollywood has been showing cops on screen. I know most of the times they are the ones coming in the end, doing nothing but putting already battered villain into ambulance, but then there have been few times when our heroes have donned the uniform, lets see how they have fared while being our protectors...
Sarfarosh, Baazi, there were a few movies where Aamir played the law keeper. I know difficult to imagine a 4ft guy trying to intimidate you with "Delhi Police, surrender yourself" But this guy is a pro when it comes to terrifying people, don't believe me? Take a look on the video.
a) Appearance: Like a little kid going to a costume party of fancy dress competition, more cute than scary. 3/5
b) Attitude: No nonsense guy, Talks less, not funny, but very able. 4/5
c) Honesty: Very honest, no history of taking bribes, but then that can also be because no one really believes him that he is a cop, when he says "Mumbai Police" people generally burst out laughing than actually offer him any bribe. But can not hold that against him 5/5
d) Weapon preference: Anything small enough to fit into his small hands, not too fond of anything big.
2) Ajay Devgan
He is a true cop, I bet he is one actor who can walk into a police station and people will salute him, just because he has played cop in so many movies that they might get confused.
a) Appearance; Always too bored, drowsy eyes, 100% authentic government employee. One of those things that make him look like a rela cop. 5/5
b) Attitude: Slow, slacker, and always too lazy to act. Again, realism. 5/5
c) Honesty: Not known for his honesty, but protector of all the girls, spl when it comes to his wife, doesn't hold back to let everyone know how awesome is his wife, may be taking undue advantage of his uniform, again realism 5/5
d) Weapon preference: Never seen him firing a shot.. god promise, mummy kasam, with countless cop movies, I don't know if he has ever fired a bullet. But I guess its more because its him sleeping in half of the movie, and me sleeping in other half of the movie, so no surprise that I missed him firing, which is generally reserved for the end.
3) Amitabh Bachchan
His Vijay avatar had been his identity for decades, though now we are nishabd when talking about him, but once there was a time when Vijay busted drug lords, black marketers, Giving him marks on his policing skills:
a) Appearance: Neat and clean uniform, almost always. Never ever a spot, either before or after a raid hence 5/5
b) Attitude: Grouchy, arrogant, always pissed off, and grumpy, imagine this with teddy bear kinds cops of Delhi, I mean health wise and attitude wise... 0/5
d) Weapon preference: Pretty content with his hands, not trusting his pistol too much, ability to shoot with his left hand.
He has played cop in so many movies, Khakee, Mohra and so many being the memorable ones. Fate of all movies was different, but somethings were pretty much the same.
a) Appearance: always a mess, just like a dog he takes pleasure in playing in dirt, always shabby, but he still looks better in uniform than whatever else he wears... 1/5
b) Attitude: Funny to others, pain for those he is trying to "help" specially if its some girl. Always with something to say can be irritating to poor public, and his laugh is probably louder than police sirens. Not really a good idea when you are trying to raid on a villain's headquarter. 2/5
c) Honesty: No honesty whatsoever. This one just watches for himself, not to be trusted one bit, do not leave your daughter alone with this cop. Else there are full chances that you get her back with unusual vomiting issues in few weeks. 0/5
d) Weapon Preference: Chest hair, leg hair, TBH hair, that is his best weapon, villain has to close his eyes when he flashes his hair, and then our hero can flykick him in the coffin.
5) Sanju baba
The worse cop you can ever get. not only this one cop himself is neck deep in court troubles, but is also involved with drugs, terrorism charges, whatever high profile case you can think of, he has been a part of it one way or another.
a) Appearance: Lets not talk about it, he is the only guy who can make sober khakees look worse than bright yellow perforated shirts. 0/5
b) Attitude: Good for nothing, him as a bhai seems more helpful than him being a cop. But then if you sing Thanedar aaya, thanedar aaya his attitude gets better. So, remember, as soon as you see him, sing for him. 0/5
c) Honesty: Well, you might be able to find drugs on him, illegal weapons, even terrorists hiding in his car boot, but one thing you can not find with this guy is honesty.. nuff said 0/5
d) Weapon preference: Now this is what he loves, AK47 is his favorite of the lot. Also has a preference for mousers, though bigger the better for baba.
6) Shahrukh Khan
Always too busy to woo women, that too GFs of someone else. I wonder who would appoint him as his area inspector, think about all the "engaged" girls he will run away with, and then who will people complain to when he himself is the keeper of law?
a) Appearance: He always appear in hands up mode, one cop who looks like he has already surrendered. No matter what, he will be there with hands up, don't know how intimidating will be that appearance for criminals. 0/5
b) Attitude: Depending upon who you ask, people of Bachchan's area hate him, some call him over, and girls generally seem to like him. My personal opinion? I am fine as long as he is nowhere near my GF's area, not even as a constable. Generally he is a charmer, always quick, witty, and great with kids. 5/5
c) Honesty: He is always honest for his work, no real allegations on him all these years, just one night in a motel... but I hope he repents that mov(i)e. All in all pretty honest lad 5/5
d) Weapon preference: Some say its his eyes, some say its his mannerisms, I say his mov(i)es.. KANK, MNIK, OSO, makes you want to kill yourself.. no weapons needed
Hahahah, this is just awesome :D
ReplyDeleteAnd what ugly picture did you pick for SRK? It looks like he has some disease on his face!
That Akki speedo scene still gives nightmares. It has to be one of the worst things I've ever seen in Bollywood. There was also that new blue eyed girly boy that did the same in Haal E dil. Don't ask how I remember that. But at least he wasn't hair!