Salman Khan arrives his usual 80's look, big heavy boots, big belt and a girl in a bikini on his shirt. His date is the miniature actor Aamir Khan. Katrina Kaif is once again a no-show giving more confirmation of their split.
Aamir comes in heavily overdressed perhaps thinking he can fool the journalists and the people watching at home that it's his party, his movie, and he's the host of this affair. Special prize to the ones who can accurately guess how many inches his elevator shoes are hiding inside. His shoes are more fascinating than his movies as far as I'm concerned.
Next up, Sohail and Arbaaz come in but apparently Dabangg's windfalls haven't reached them yet. Looking like homeless hobos, they still can't afford pants without holes in them or proper shoes. They might still be paying back debts for Hello Brother and Main aur Mrs. Khanna.
If you squint hard enough, you can see that optical illusion behind Sohail is hiding his wife, Seema.
Sonakshi Sinha keeps up with the Khan brothers by making use of all her old ratty clothes and sews them together in patches. Smart girl. Save money. What if she becomes another Zarine Khan? Who? Exactly.
Farah Khan just got Salman to do an item number with his ex-girlfriend Katrina in her film Tees Maar Khan. I think showing up to the party was payment for it. I would say she looks like a round tomato but hey, she has two blockbusters to her name and married a guy 10 years younger than her. Farah Khan has my permission to wear whatever the hell she wants.
Munni probably got dressed in the dark but in her case, the fact she got dressed in itself is enough!
This pose is one giant step above what the high-class Rakhi Sawant was doing earlier this week at another party....
Another person making dramatic improvements was Sonu Nigam. Erm...
He looks GQ-ready compared to his earlier clown clothes and hair, seen here:
Rounding out the guests was Vidhu Vinod Chopra and his giggling twit wife Anupama posing with Aamir and seen whispering to all and sundry that it was really a 3 Idiots party and using Aamir's penguin suit as proof.
Biggest news of the party was the non-appearance from former Partner Govinda. I am surprised the tabloids haven't yet written articles about friends turning enemies and hating each other forever. They are very slow these days.
Ohhh man this was awesome....I died laughing
ReplyDeleteEveryone looks bored as hell, except cleavage showing Malaika of-course!!
ReplyDeletei think they did write one article on Govinda-Salman friendship going wrong due to Salman favouring Sonakshi over Narmada .
ReplyDeleteAamir shows up in casuals in a formal party and vice versa :)
ReplyDeleteNia - you sure have some pen filled with sarcasm ink. Don't let it dry up :)
ReplyDeletelet me come to Aamirs defence he was going to GQ function from here .
ReplyDeletehahahah hilarious read.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Sonu Nigam RAWKS
And Sohail Khan is wearing chappal?????
Also in Sohail Khan took offence when some newsreporter asked abt Munni. He said, its a song. Her name is Malaika.
ReplyDeleteBut what was Malaika doing ?!! What will her son think when he finds those photographs all over the internet !! Eeewwww...
And Sonu... needs to hire a stylist asap. WTF is wrong with him.// Funny post though :)
The less said about Sohail the better. What husband makes his wife do a cheapo item dance in his own movie. It takes all kinds.
ReplyDeleteAs for Malaika's kids, they must be used to it be now. You must not have seen her posing in Maxim and other men's mags. Verrry revealing photos.
Oh oh, can you give link, Nia hahahahahahha
ReplyDeletei think Nia meant Arbaaz . kunal i am sure u have already seen those :D
ReplyDeleteLoved this almost as much as your Dabangg review. That one was pure genius!
ReplyDeleteLooks like the Khan brothers have never heard of button down dress shirts. Munni/Malaika seems to have found some fabric in her closet for once.
Nia is the best fashion critic in cyberspace! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteNia, you forced me to come out of hibernation just to let you know this is awesome stuff! I almost rolled up laughing reading this :D
ReplyDeleteLOlz.
ReplyDeletekeep them coming
Look at Sonakhsi. trying hard not to fall again :)
Ya Nia, I havent seen those mags cos I dont read them ! Maybe cos I am a female :)
ReplyDeleteAbt that Munni song, I actually love the song .. its so peppy and a great dance number. Malaika is 37 yrs old, yet she looks great and dances really well in it. To maintain that body, she must be working hard and taking care of her diet too, while Vidya Aunty Balan ( around the same age... 35+ ) looks like a fat pumpkin. She actually looked like Shahid's mom in that flop movie she did with him. So, I quite admired Malaika for looking great at her age.
But that slutty photograph of her trying to reveal... is so crass. It brought her image down, by many a notch, in my opinion.
Definition of beauty differs from person to person. In one of Oprah shows, women in Mauritania who are fat, were perceieved to be beautiful in that country! Or take example ofPlanet of Apes; Apes use to think themselves as beautiful and human as primitive and ugly.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.oprah.com/community/thread/93216?start=90&tstart=32
The definition varies in different communities even in the US. It's well known that White (and I suppose Indians also) prefer thin and lean but the Black community is known to like meat on bones and bigger butts, etc.
ReplyDeleteAnd here are some of Munni's badmaan photos from Maxim...
Picture 1
Picture 2
So yeah, her item songs are one step up. :-P
man!!!! y da helll wold u write somthin lyk dis...i m sur dat not even ur neighbourz knw u coz ur a bloody looser and every1 associated wid SALMAN rox....dey r famous...u can't b perfect 24/7 in everyday of life...u makin fun of those entertainerz show how stupid and disrespectful u r toward some of those GREAT personalities lyk AAMIR,SALMAN, SOHAIL, ARBAZ and etc....fuck u...some of u indians r really stupid and we can see dat by u guys insulting ur own heroes..motherfucker....
ReplyDelete^^You have reformed me with your class, wit, and intelligence. I will no longer be disrespectful to people who run over homeless people on pavements and cheat on their wives and abandon their illegitimate children. Consider me censured.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I guess I do have something neither you or even they likely have... the ability to write proper English and communicate effectively. Next time you want to comment here, use proper grammar and punctuation and cut out the profanity. Do it again like this and your comment will get deleted.
Goodbye and have a nice day.
Appropriate reply, Nia. Also it needs to be mentioned that its Indians, and not indians. People should learn to spell names of countries properly before talking of other worldly matters and hurling abuses.
ReplyDeleteAnd Nia, whatever you write, It's your opinion. I am a big, big, Salman fan myself, but that does not mean that I don't have the maturity to understand that people have different opinions. You are entitled to yours, too!
And after seeing the Malaika pics, I think Munni was badnaam a long time before she did that song :P
Munni was badnaam in every item song she did, but I think a lot of the success of Dabangg can be attributed to Munni and that rocking number. Yes, it was lift - so perhaps the success can be attributed to Launda Badnaam hua Naseeban Tere Liye and other nautanki songs!
ReplyDeleteBut more badnaam than badnaam Munni are crazy folks who come and hurl abuses on forums anonymously.
Macaroni, I'm not really a hater of Salman or anything. I just exaggerate things in my desperate attempt to be funny. Aamir I do have a strong distaste for but not enough to go on various forums abusing him everywhere, lol.
ReplyDeleteMy pet peeve is folks who refuse to write properly and think you will sit there with a microscope trying to decipher what they've written. Making mistakes when English is your second or third language is a perfectly acceptable thing but people who write poorly without punctuation or capitalization on purpose are ridiculous.
why u 2 diz mah sooperstah i kill u b4 gn 2 skool kthxbai
As far as Mailaka goes, she may do some trashy songs but that woman can really dance! If her family doesn't care, it shouldn't matter to us either. Ce la vie.
Nia you should continue doing this, you have my support.
ReplyDeleteAnd Remember i told you your writings will become famous.But now it will just be a matter of you being enthusiastic enough to do it consistently.
@Pardesi - Dont tell me that the Munni song is lifted ! I thought it was an original !
ReplyDelete@Nia : I so agree with u when u say its irritating to decipher what ppl write in their scrambled attempts to comment. I can understand that feeling... Its umm... super irritating !
About Salman, good to know u dont hate him. He has been my fav all this while. I esp. love his interest and passion in charity. Just recently, on twitter, he has been helping a prof. build a school, and this is not related to his Being Human charity at all! And ya, about Malaika, you said it right... If her family doesnt care, what have we got to do ! She isnt exactly a role model for ppl...lol/ although, its a fact she looks fab and dances superbly :) lets just leave it there !
And I found the post quite humorous. Was fun reading it !!!! U did succeed in making it funny :)
Macaroni - not original at all - and WE broke the news - here is the excerpt from Milliblog:
ReplyDelete11.August.2010
@ Here we go again! The first announcement is to clear poor Sajid Wajid's name - they did not get the credit for composing the latest national preoccupation - Munni badnaam hui, from Dabaang, that even Vidhu Vinod Chopra is humming the song around his house! The song is credited to Lalit Pandit...half of Jatin-Lalit. And yes, it is lifted. Rather a folk lift that is not appropriately credited...much like Ismal Darbar's Nimbuda from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. The source of this chartbuster seems to be a bawdy, folksy Bhojpuri number titled, 'Launda badnaam hua naseeban tere liye', sung by Rani Bala. The music of this folk track is credited to Ghulam Dastgeer Khan and the album titled, 'Balma Bada Bavaali' stars Rampat Harami and Rani Bala, at least per this site, where the song is streamed. The same lyrics were used by Bappi Lahiri in an altered version in Rock Dancer, for the Javed Jaffrey featuring song, 'Launda badnaam hua laundiya tere liye'. Lalit's Munni is closer to the source in terms of tune, even though it has been supremely spruced up and very modern oomph. It'd have been extremely graceful and honest of Lalit to have credited the folk source for his Munni, but with so many spectacular lifts to their name (as Jatin Lalit) that is one heck of an impossible ask! Thanks to leads from PakhiPakhi and FilmyShilmy!
Listen to
Munni badnaam:
Launda badnaam (Rani Bala):
Bonus: Launda badnaam (Rock Dancer) Not connected, tune-wise.
LINK
And original link at Pakhipakhi:
ReplyDeleteLINK
Nia,Now this is what i call humour so delicately balanced that you seldom know when is the writer joking nad when is he seriously menacing and cutting through the subject in question. And that is where the write-up wins.Humour is a subjective art,it can be summarised only by the reaction of the one who listens/perceives it,and going by reaction,its a masterpiece in its realm.I have read it 6-7 times and i laugh each time..the net conclusion being that your humour does not wear off with time.It remains,might just be that it grows with time.And at the end in solitude,sometimes when you remember things,remembering this write-up does bring a faint smile.Great work!
ReplyDeleteDabangg party might have disappointed,your write-up certainly did not!
Thanks Milind, you're too kind! You guys are all spoiling me. It doesn't take as much as you're saying to write obnoxious comments about celebrities. :D
ReplyDelete