TweedleJi and TweedleD view Dabangg

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Pardesi | Edit

Tweedle Twins view Dabangg

TweedleJi and TweedleD rarely watch movies together – their tastes are as different as chalk and cheese. The last time they had bumped into each other while watching Dev D.  And then suddenly here they were in a line buying popcorn for the showing of Dabangg.

TweedleD: Hi Ji – I thought this would not be your kind of film, strange to see you here.  Galat film mein aa gaye kya? (Are you in the wrong movie?)

TweedleJi: Arre D, I heard a lot about this Chulbul Pandey – the fellow who is a small town corrupt cop, wears Ray Bans and dances like a male stripper.  I am here to see what it is that attracts men and women to a persona like that.   So I thought a single screen would be the best place to experience this first hand.


TweedleD: Arre there is nautanki by Munni Bai,  she is getting old but can still shake her hips.!  Chulbul Pandey is played by Salman Khan, and Bhai is the hero of the masses!  We can relate to him.  Bhai speaks our language – “Hum tum mein itne chedd karenge ki bhool jaaoge ki saans kahaan se lein aur paadein kahan se!!”  (at this point TweedleD is laughing so much he collapses on the man in front of him, who is laughing his head off too. Bhaichaare mein sab chalta hai!)  TweedleD is helped up and in gratitude shares with the other Bhailog the vuvuzelas he has brought for the festivities.
TweedleJi recoils in horror at this crudity and begins to wonder about the wisdom of coming to a single screen.  But he thinks of all the scripts he sends in that are returned unread, and stiffens his spine.
They settle down with popcorn and the film begins. Two child actors have wrapped their janeu (sacred thread) around their ears and are crapping in a field.  TweedleJi has a flash-back to the last film they saw together.   Cut to a heist and a confrontation where Chulbul Pandey takes on one good after another in quick succession, keeping the trope of the 70s masala gangster and cop films intact.  Nothing has changed, no heavy artillery, no backup, and the vuvuzelas and seetis are drowning out the dialog as people dance in the aisles with Chulbul Pandey.  Dimple Kapadia manages to look like an asthmatic witch and Vinod Khanna is incredibly stony as the father PandeyJi.  The company of such thespians no doubt inspires Arbaaz Khan to be his stony best as the brother Makhkhi.  Then Chulbul ji encounters a smoldering beauty (Sonakshi Sinha) and is instantly smitten.  Tere Mast Mast Do Nain showcases the full on pelvic action male stripper dance moves of Chulbul Bhai.  TweedleD wonders when we will see her joining in the dancing. TweedleJi is muttering at the stupidity of having a father dance around in underwear to Humka Peeni Hai as a thana full of cops tries to help their Inspector Chulbul Pandey woo one girl.
TweedleJi learns some quick lessons as he watches the crowds going crazy.  The script can go to hell, you need one crowd-pleasing hero who speaks in semiliterate-speak and breaks all the laws while being a good heart – a Robin Hood!  He should have ishtyle, and several seeti-maar dialogs, and preferably woo a leading lady who is not an anorexic fashionista!  So Salman Bhai is the prime reason for the euphoria of the crowd – he is THEM.  The second reason Dabanng will work big is Sonakshi; she is very normal and the aam junta can relate to her – a good looking but not anorexic or over-endowed movie star.  She is attainable, while those GUCCI and PRADA wearing Aisha types never will be.

Read more HERE