Khatron Ke Khiladi Reloaded: Ep. 2

*Episode 2 review*

I never expected to be writing another recap of KKK, no relation to the Ku Klux Klan thankfully. However, by popular demand (that's right, all TWO of you!) I am back to watching so you don't have to.

We begin with a disclaimer that folks watching at home should not replicate the stunts. All ho hum, right? The next line made my eyes nearly pop out. "THE CHANNEL WILL BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE." So if you go jump out of a helicopter and break a leg you can now sue Colors and make some money. Eat some slugs and get food poisoning? Sue the bastards. Not a bad money-making scheme in this economy. So all you unemployed slobs sitting on your couches drooling over Priyanka, chop chop, get to work. The only people who *don't* deserve work? The morons at Colors who can't even write proper disclaimers. I suppose they would be the same retards green-lighting remakes of horrid American reality shows. They must have been multitasking.

Piggy Chops arrives wearing shorts so short her butt cheeks are nearly hanging out. Eh, same thing she does in the movies or award shows or well, anywhere. She is, after all, using her best ASSet. She announces the stunt which happens to be transferring worms, beetles, cockroaches and other creepy crawlies from a honey-covered rope to a bowl a few feet away. Since I had to been dying to see Rahul Bose eat gross insects, it's no surprise that the universe once again denies me this pleasure. Mr. Bose, oh so manly and muscular, volunteers his cheerleader girl to do the stunt for him!!

Khatron Ke Khiladi dangerous for your brain

*my review*

Bollywood stars begin their annual jaunts to TV and first up on the tube is Priyanka Chopra. In the first of a series of mind-numbing television misadventures still to come (Salman with Big Boss, Akki Kumar with Masterchef, Amitabh Bachchan on KBC.... ), we begin with Khatron Ke Khiladi, the desi version of the slightly less awful Fear Factor. Here a femme fatale replaces the dumb oaf of a comedian otherwise known as Joe Rogan. Yes guys, someone did it before Akshay Kumar, as if you were surprised anyway.

We commence with Priyanka Chopra talking as a quote filched from Franklin D. Roosevelt flashes on the screen - the "only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Well played, Mr. Director. A sprinkling of intellectualism to decorate what is likely to be a pile of garbage, a technique otherwise "perfected" (geddit?) by a certain Aamir Khan.

Off we begin with glamorous shots of Priyanka Chopra walking sexily wearing leather, riding a motorcyle, and shot from far enough away for a stuntwoman to replace her. She then again poses sexily in front of yellow helicopter (!!!) while taking 5.4 seconds to introduce 13 D-listers consisting of television celebs and players of sports nobody cares about like rugby and squash. Next up, 13 random girls are brought on as individual cheerleaders for the men. Way to be sexist, Colors. Eyeroll.