Akki tries for his Lagaan moment – Patiala House!

After the box office disappointment of Chandni Chowk to China, director Nikhil Advani returns with a film set in London with full on Punjabiyat and nationalism at its core. Right at the start we see racial riots, skinheads, racially motivated killing of a member of the Kahlon family and are given the back story for why Rishi Kappor is the kind of patriarch he is. He lives in his own little enclave, populated with his extended family that we are never really introduced to, other than to be told that they all have aspirations that do not match the expectations the patriarch has of them.

Patiala House - reviews

Ratings at 2/5 SO FAR!

Anupama Chopra - NDTV 2.5/5 gigantic loopholes hobble Patiala House. As does the lazy writing – none of the other family members make an impression and Bauji is such an exasperating character that even Rishi Kapoor can’t humanise him.
Kunal Guha yahoo movies 1.5/5 what's terribly disappointing for anyone who understands the game even a bit, is that our Punjab express chucks every single time (check bowling action!).
Taran Adarsh bollywoodhungama.com 4/5 On the whole, PATIALA HOUSE is a film about attachments, affiliations and familial bonding. It's a compelling watch, more for its drama and histrionics than anything else.
Sonia Chopra sify.com 2/5 Director Nikhil Advani's storytelling is archaic and simplistic... when Gattu explains .. that his dad's heart would break if he played cricket, you actually hear a thunder-and-lightening sound effect.
Mayank Shekhar Hindustan Times 2/5 To use popular journalese, the peg of this Patiala (House) story is British racism of the early '90s. . . If anything, this is one of the best of recent Akshay Kumar flicks, from a rapidly expanding annual inventory, of course.
Rajeev Masand CNN IBN 1.5/5 Akshay Kumar as Gattu ... it’s a labored performance, lacking the subtleties and nuances that could have made it truly heart-felt.

Khalid Mohamed passionforcinema.com 2/5 They’re U K, you’re not O K. In fact, you suffer in silence as the cliché-drops keep falling on your head
Nikhat Kazmi Times of India 3/5 Every little twist and turn of this self-realisation soap opera is pre-ordained and terribly familiar.
 

What if Bachchan was one of us?

Raja Sen
Audiences refuse to believe that stars are human too
Aishwarya Rai has the worst fans. Being an Internet-based film critic for awhile now, I can attest to having received a wee bit more than my share of hate-mail. It’s quite staggering, really, to realise just how passionate people are about cinema, and more than a trifle alarming to wrap the brain around the fact that a very significant number of folks would love to bash my skull in based merely on disagreement – simply because, for example, I didn’t like 3 Idiots.

And while I haven’t yet faced physical violence – threats stopped fazing me quite some time ago – it’s always interesting to see just how quickly people jump to their feet to democratically proclaim an opinion wrong. And then there are the bizarre kneejerk reactions – like being branded ‘unpatriotic’ after finding fault with something Amitabh Bachchan does — and fantastical accusations of favouritism.

Patiala House Trailer

Twi-fi – Whose awards will they be?

Awards season has begun in Mumbai and the chamiyas and chailas are practicing their dance numbers for the stage shows. In the meantime a twitroots revolution is slowly building up. Twitter will have its own awards and the jury will be journalists who write about movies and a few selected bloggers (based on a Twitter vote). The jury will nominate, and the twitterati at large will vote, to select winners! More details can be found at links http://twifi2010.in/ and http://on.fb.me/hN2jpp #TwiFi
There are two immediate problems I notice. Twi_Fi has about 1400 followers so more grass needs to grow in this grassroots revolution, and quickly!

Tees Maar Khan review *spoilers*

The Tale of a Conman and his Wife

You know you're in for an erm... experience when you see Shirish Kunder putting himself in the credits six times. He exceeds Midget Khan levels, who has a habit of focusing on a giant "A" for as long as other movies would finish their entire credit sequences in. His gall is so jaw dropping his credit as "music director" comes before the one for Vishal Shekhar!

The film soon begins with in vitro animations of a dancing baby (pole dancing, no less) quite obviously stolen from the famous "dancing baby" of the 90s.  Born to be a conman (modeled on Mr. Farah Khan himself?) he will grow up to be Akshay Kumar aka Tees Maar Khan.

A hamming police chief comes on to talk about gazillions of rupees worth of loot being taken to Delhi by train which they expected to be stolen by Siamese twins, the Johri brothers. Kunder doesn't seem to have learned after the Anupam Kher dwarf fiasco in Jaan-E-Maan that just putting the differently-abled on screen doesn't make it instantly hilarious.

The Johri brothers would need the help of other crooks among whom is someone named Ismail Koyla.  Witness the supposed hilarity in the script that took four years to write: "It's hard to tell if Ismail is blacker than koyla or if koyla is blacker than Ismail!" The poor jokes keep coming among which is how Ismail's weapon is the "black of night." Har har.

Tees Maar Khan reviews! 1.8/5 so far

While we await the major ones from India, the film has released in the UK, UAE and USA and some reviews are coming in.
searchindia.com  (no rating) "Even by the lowly standards of Akshay Kumar's recent films like Action Replayy, Tees Maar Khan is bad."
upodcasting.com (no rating) "It’s what Housefulll wishes it was, what Action Replayy could never accomplish and what Golmaal lies in bed at night crying it could be one day."
Renuka Rao dnaindia.com 1.5/5 Tees Maar Khan is a classic example of a cluttered film in which a hodgepodge of characters incoherently jabbers ludicrous dialogues building up an odd plot that just refuses to make any sense at any point of time.
Nikhat Kazmi TOI 2.5/5 But eventually, fun needs a foundation too and spoofs need some substance to carry them through. TMK has colour, humour, pace but nothing does seem to fall in place in terms of plot and character connect.
Zahra Khan, Associated Post USA 1.5/5  Tees Maar Khan is a classic example of a disordered film in which a sputtering incoherent jumble of characters absurd dialogues build a strange plot that just refuses to make any sense at any point in time.
Rachel Salz, NYT unrated “Om Shanti Om,” a huge box office success, was Bollywood at its most pleasurable. “Tees Maar Khan” is Bollywood going through the motions.
moviereviews.ae unrated Other Akshay Kumar movies have been blasted in the past, but this one will take the cake for being the most unlikeable of the lot!
Mihir Fadnavis 0.5/5 ‘Tees Maar Khan’ is brutally unfunny, horrendously contrived and wholly annoying.
Pankaj Sabnani (Glamsham) 2.5/5 The film isn't exactly unbearable, but falls way short of expectations. 
Kunal Guha, Yahoo 1.5/5  The dialogues are lame and lack wit, punch, drama and everything else one expects from filmy dialogues.
Taran Adarsh bollywoodhungama.com  3/5  If only its content was powerful enough, it would've truly been a tees maar entertainer! 
Gaurav Malani Economic Times 2.5/5 Tees Maar Khan doesn’t even guarantee thirty good laughs in its three hour runtime.
Aseem Chhabra rediff.com 1.5/5 TMK, scripted by Khan's husband?Shirish Kunder, is like that tasteless, dull chewing gum that you feel like throwing away as soon as you take the first bite.
Anupama Chopra ndtv.com 2/5 Tees Maar Khan.. is disappointingly limp and insistently low IQ. The film has little of the effervescence and flair of a typical Farah Khan film.
Sukanya Verma Rediff 2/5 Sheila ki Jawaani ...But that's not going to wipe the disappointment off genuine admirers of Farah's quirky creativity, including yours truly.
Raja Sen Rediff 2/5 And even as our arms do obediently rise for Tees Maar Khan, they do so more to facepalm in whatmighthavebeen exasperation rather than applaud boisterously, as they did with her earlier films.
Sukanya Venkatraghavan Filmfare UNRATED Tees Maar Khan directed by Farah Khan (How could you!) is just a relentless assault on your senses.
Vinod Mirani indiantelevision.com  UNRATED In fact, Tees Maar Khan loses steam about 15 minutes into the film after the song Sheela ki jawani and becomes intolerable post-interval.
Khalid Mohamed PFC 1.5/5 Throughout you’re shocked by the higgledy-piggledy screenplay and the blood-curdlingly loud direction.
Mayank Shekhar HT 1/5 It’s one thing to repeatedly make ‘nudge nudge wink wink’ sort of ironic nod to films or ‘filmies’. It’s quite another to know nothing else. 
Rajeev Masand CNN IBN 2/5 it’s surprising she delivered not the trademark Farah Khan entertainer one expected from her, but a typical harebrained Akshay Kumar comedy instead.

50 cr weekend predicted for Tees Maar Khan

Ormax Media Launches Moviescope: Predicts 50 Cr Weekend For Tees Maar Khan Sunday 20th December 2010 23.00 IST

Press Release Mumbai, Dec 19, 2010: Media research and consulting film Ormax Media has predicted that Farah Khan’s Tees Maar Khan, releasing on Dec 24, is set for a historic Rs. 50 cr opening weekend net collections. The film stars Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif. The box office prediction has been arrived using Ormax Media’s newly launched film research tool Moviescope. Moviescope is a Film Research Engine designed to take care of all the needs of a producer. This includes four components - Ad Pre-Test, Film Pre-Test, Awareness Tracking (Cinematix) and Exit Polls.

Tees Maar Khan Updated with Bade Dilwala promo!

Akki to romance Sonakshi in Shirish Kunder's 3D joker

No joke, Akki to romance Sonakshi!

Bollywood’s Khiladi No.1 has another ace up his sleeve
Meena Iyer I TNN
Akshay Kumar is getting into the fourth gear of his promotions for Tees Maar Khan that is releasing worldwide on December 24. Simultaneously his banner Hari Om Productions, that has given us entertainers like Singh is Kinng, De Dana Dan, Khatta Meetha, Waqt — A Race against Time, and Farah Khan’s Three is Company have signed Bollywood’s youngest girl Sonakshi Sinha for Shirish Kunder’s Joker.

The Music of Tees Maar Khan – some quick thoughts!

Farah Khan teams up with Akshay Kumar, in a Shirish Kunder script with music by Vishal Shekhar (and Shirish Kunder). The curiosity level is sky-high! After two back to back big hits that both had chart-buster type music, Farah chose to branch out on her own and produce and direct a film for her own production house – and to do it without her regular star, Shahrukh Khan. Tees Maar Khan was written by Shirish and with Akshay Kumar in mind. We were told that Sheila ki Jawaani a blockbuster gift from Farah to Katrina Kaif and it will be the Mother of all Item songs, leaving Munni Badnaam Hui biting the dust in its wake.
So what does the music of Tees Maar Khan offer?
The title track has Sonu Niigaam singing in 54 different voices (including an Akshay Kumar impression) and accents (including a faux Chinese one!). This track is composed by Shirish Kunder. There is an opening musical interlude that reminds one of the track sung by Ashanti in Bride and Prejudice and this is no doubt the “hook” that will be the Tees Maar Khan theme.

Why Vipul Shah should stop making films ASAP!

After giving us Waqt (I still shudder at the memory), Namastey London (Katrina Kaif speaking out of a snorkel), London Dreams (Ajay the star”rocking” London), he throws at us his most recent offering – Action Replayy. I will not debate the issue of heavy “inspiration” from Back To The Future, because thinking of these two films together is nothing short of sacrilege. Nor will I debate the logic of the Time-machine in the living room, the motherless boy and fatherless girl, and the young guy with the Afro. To do that would require deep thoughts, and Jack Handey is on vacation today. Does Vipul know the basics of film-making?

Is Tees Maar Khan an "inspired" version of a Peter Sellers' film?

Tees Maar Khan copy of Peter Sellers' After The Fox? 
By Bollywood Hungama News Network, 

How many of you have heard about the most famous Hollywood comedian (after Charlie Chaplin of course) Peter Sellers? If not, please watch his movie The Party. Anyway, the point to bring up a man of such repertoire is because his films are still inspiring a lot of filmmakers from Bollywood. Peter Sellers 1966 Italian film After The Fox (Caccia Alla Volpe) is one such example. Yes, you heard it.

But the word 'inspiration' is too cliche. It's 'similarities' that count when our filmmakers get inspired. After a bit of research, we found out that one of the most anticipated films of this year,Tees Maar Khan, is a fully inspired version of the 1966 comedy, After The Fox starring Peter Sellers. And after watching the trailer, here are some of the 'similarities' evident between both the films:

Peter Sellers plays Aldo Vanucci (aka the Fox), one of the greatest criminals of the world, and master of disguise. After Aldo escapes from the Italian prison he was held in, he meets again with his friends, and plans to retrieve the "gold of Cairo" a large shipment of gold, that waits to be unloaded somewhere in Italy. Aldo devices the perfect plan. Posing as a famous director, he finds the ideal coastal village to unload the shipment, and persuades the entire population that he has chosen their village as the set for his new movie.

Desi Boyz begins filming!

Filming of debutant director Rohit Dhawan's romcom Desi Boyz - headlining Deepika Padukone, Akshay Kumar and John Abraham - started today, November 7. Photo Credit: Sawf News

November 07, 2010, (Sawf News) - Filming of debutant director Rohit Dhawan's romcom Desi Boyz - headlining Deepika Padukone, Akshay Kumar and John Abraham - started today, November 7.

An exhilarated Deepika shared the news with her twitter fans:

"Day one of #desi boyz with akshay and john...super excited!wish us luck guys:-)"

The film, to be co-produced by Akshay Kumar and Eros, was announced in the summer of 2009 as one of the biggest and most expensive films of 2010.

It was reported that John and Akshay will be showing their buff bodies in the film as pole dancers. The two loose their jobs and compete with each other as pole dancers at the same night club.

The film will be lensed at exotic locales abroad.

LINK

Action Replayy reviews avg rating 2.20/5

Joginder Tuteja, Indiaglitz: 4 stars "clean musical entertainer"

Nikhat Kazmi TOI  2.5 stars "The problem with Action Replayy is the going-nowhere humour track. "
Vinod Mirani  "Promising theme but low in substance!"


Mayank Shekhar, HT 2 stars "This is his career's best performance. But then again, that may not be saying much, given Mr Kumar’s chosen career so far."


Taran Adarsh, BollywoodHungama 3 stars "A slightly dreary first hour, but a racy second hour with top notch performances makes it a decent watch this Diwali."


Raja Sen, Rediff 1 star  "This is, first and foremost, a tacky film."


Rajeev Masand, IBN 1.5 stars "Sorely lacking in drama and genuine humor, Action Replayy is mind-numbingly dull because there’s no conflict or plot"


Baradwaj Rangan, Blogical Conclusion 2/5 "HOURS NOT TO REASON WHY…

A time-travel romance makes you wish you could travel back to a happier time, with no memory of the movie whatsoever."

Tees Maar Khan updated theatrical trailer!

Action Replayy release in trouble?

Eros Worldwide seeks to stall release of film Action Replayy



The release of Akshay Kumar-Aishwarya starrer Action Replayy this Friday has run into a rough weather with Dubai-based Eros Worldwide filing a suit in the Bombay high court today to recover Rs6.56 crore dues along with interest from producer Vipul Shah.
Justice JH Bhatia, hearing the plaintiff, issued notice to Shah and asked him to reply to the suit on November 4, a day prior to the film's release.
The judge suggested both the parties to settle the financial dispute in two days.
Eros Worldwide claimed Rs6.56 crore in the suit with interest and urged the judge for a direction to the film's producer Vipul Shah to deposit the amount in the court.
In the alternative, the plaintiff prayed, Shah be restrained from release or exhibiting the film or delivering prints thereof to any third party or creating third party rights in the title or interest in respect of the film.
The plaintiff argued that if the film was allowed to be released the defendent may dispose of sale proceeds and fail to pay the loan amount of Rs 6.37 crore.
Eros Worldwide contended that it had loaned Rs6.37 crore to the plaintiff through two agreements on October 24 and October 26 last year. However, Shah had failed to pay the amount within stipulated time.
The plaintiff said that Shah was in a financial mess and under pressure from creditors. He was saddled with several claims from financiers, distributors and exhibitors after the release of his last film London Dreams.

LINK

Action Replayy updated with two new dialog promos!

Masterchef India review *ing Akshay Kumar

Another day and yet another celebrity show on Indian television.  Masterchef India does however hold one big advantage.  A competitive cooking show has never been seen before and would offer up something new compared to the done to death dance and singing shows, Bigg Boss in it's 4th season, and KBC in what feels like it's 32507835th season.  Akshay Kumar is also not a bad choice to lead such a show considering he does have some connection with cooking, tenuous as it may be. (He cooked in a stall in Bangkok in his pre-fame days.) It still makes him a fitter choice than just about any other Bollywood star. 

The show begins with Akshay in superstar mode, booming voice, sunglasses, and a dapper suit talking about "khwabs" and "inquilabs." A wee bit much when you're going to be witnessing herb sprinkling, spinach tossing, and dainty tastings of culinary dishes but it's par for the course when even TV journalists are loudly shouting and screaming news headlines to offer the masala the audience presumably demands.  Akshay surprises by finishing up his opening speech zippy fast and letting the Narrator Voice of the show explain the nitty-gritty of Masterchef.  Auditions are done in six cities and the visuals are remarkably close to what you would see on Indian Idol; thousands and thousands of people running like a herd of cattle as the doors open.

For a show that's called Masterchef India, all of South India and Eastern India are neglected with the only cities (and obviously with it, their cultures and cuisines) included being Delhi, Lucknow, Mumbai, Indore, Jaipur, and Ahmedabad.  If I don't see mile long dosas being made on this show, I'm going to be extremely upset!

Tees Maar Khan updated w/new Sanjay Dutt news

Farah is doing her usual nautanki and adding a hundred stars as expected. After Salman Khan, it's Sanjay Dutt's turn.

(click to enlarge)